Rooster Confessionals

What the hell dude...

2010-04-22T04:38:00.000-07:00

Its 4:38am and I can't sleep. I've tried to sleep but have only been successful at waking up about 4 times already. I have no idea why I came out to the mac and write a blog this early in the morning.

At least I have some Pedro the Lion to keep me company.

I should probably write more on this before it starts to not be cool anymore. Before something new comes out. Maybe the next thing will be a program that reads exactly what your thinking. Captures it and posts it on the interweb! Seems kinda scary to think about. Mine would be about me asking the same hundred questions.

"Whens the next tattoo?"
"What is she doing right now?"
"Does she even think about me?"
"What am I going to eat in the next 5 mins?"
"What do I want to do tonight?"
"What is she doing tonight?"

I guess a lot of the questions are still about the same girl that I've been pining over for years now. Can't just leave it at that. No matter how hard I try I can't stop thinking about her.

Go ahead. You can say it. I already know I'm an idiot. But heres how I look at it. I'll try to break it down for you.

*I've liked her ever since we met, when she started dating a friend of mine and I didn't think that she had any interest in me. (Even though later on I found out that she did)

*After getting divorced from my wife, she was the first person I thought of to want to be with. (I never thought of other girls when I was married. lets get that straight)

*A year ago after finally telling her how I felt about her (finally) I was walking on clouds. That was the day of Heffers and Gray's wedding. Man that could have been the happiest days of my life. No joke.

Theres more but I don't want to get all into it. What do you think? I've had more than enough people tell me to drop it. Get over it. Move on.

Blah. Blah. Blah...

I guess its just too hard for me to. Every time a band comes on, a romantic movie, and sometimes when I see something she might like I think about her.

Like I said I'm an idiot.

You know I didn't plan on writing about her. Sorry. Lets change the subject shall we.

Ummm shoot, I had some really cool things to talk about, but now I think about them and they just sound dumb. Haha. Guess waking up my brain was working over time. Plus a lack of sleep might be what makes my mind scream at me to come and write these things down. I used to keep a notepad by me when I went to sleep. That way when I would wake up I could write the things down and come back to them again.

OK. I promise that the next post that I do will be cheerful. Maybe some pictures of the finished tattoos that I've had since the last pictures I took.

Keep it real. Be honest.

Corre

Hey partner!

2010-02-01T18:52:00.000-08:00

Its been awhile, not really sure where to start.

This is the newest on me at the moment . Un-finished but still beautiful.

$60 Sunday. Eagle fighting a snake.

$60 Sunday. All seeing eye. I don't know what you call it.

$60 Sunday Owl

Carlos is doing an awesome job of covering me up. I just wish I had more money to throw at him so I can get tons of stuff done faster. I guess the last time we all spoke I've gotten three other tattoo's and one half finished. Still waiting for the right moment to get my Boba Fett praying hands done. I need to think of a good place to put it. Maybe on the top of my arm and on the shoulder.

Its really good to have Aaron back. I love hanging out with him. I've got to do it as much as I can. Who really knows when the wind is going to blow in and take him away to a far away land.

I've been really craving music lately. I can't get enough of it. I want to go to more shows. See new bands and really take the music in. Scream the words at the top of my lungs and go away not caring if I can talk the next day. Help me find shows to go to I beg you. Even if I go alone thats fine. More music for my ears I guess.

Don't know what else to write at the moment. I kinda want to write words that keep coming into my head, but they are unfinished lines to songs or poems. Seems like all I want in life are endings for thoughts, feelings, poems, lyrics, and well everything.

I'll keep in touch a little better. Till then catch you working towards the sunset and onto the next day.

xoxo

Corre

From my mouth to the paper... or er... online

2009-04-30T18:47:00.000-07:00

I haven't talked on this for awhile. Sorry if you wait to
hear something and I don't get on very much.
Lets see... where am I at?...

Working like usual. I wish the economy was better cause
I would be out there searching for something with better
pay thats for sure. I don't know if many of you know but
I've been living at Aaron's pop's house. its pretty chill here,
plus he is never home and when he is he is working on papers.
I started color on my chest almost two weeks ago.
I go in May 4th and hope to be done with it.
I'm already thinking of what I want next. I told Darcy that
I won't be showing her the chest one all colored. Or any other
ones for that matter. I'm thinking of getting anchors on my
fore arms. On the other side of the other tattoos. One will say
Hope, and the other Faith. Then I can tell people that I named
my arms Hope and Faith... haha...

Since talking to Darcy I've been seeing some changes, and I hope
others have also. I've been praying more. A lot more actually.
I keep a note pad by my bed with my daily prayers written down.
I like it. I can't wait to actually look back on it in a year from now to see
what has changed. Hopefully a lot. God willing. A lot of what I pray
for is guidance and patience. I feel completely awed by how God has
allowed me to see the difference in my life as of late. I've been happy.
Really happy. I'm seeing God's beauty in everything.

I've decided to grow my beard and hair out for a year... I know scary huh?
I'll be that guy on a bike who scares little children. haha. I hope not.
I know that growing my hair out will be the toughest for me. Beard not so
much. I can trim the mustache and under lip pretty easy so it doesn't look
too bad. Hair is already losing the black that I put over the lighter color.
And I think it might be dying... i don't know though, I'm not a hair
specialist.

Nich, Jacob, Jeffrey and I are gonna start a band. Hoping to be a folk/punk
sound. I've got to write lyrics ASAP, but now I only really write about my
current relationship status... haha. I really am super seriously liking Darcy
a lot. She is great. I wish you guys knew her.

Well thats a lot from me. Hope you guys enjoyed that as much as I did writing it...
ok I didn't enjoy it that much.

Pray for me. If you'd like me to pray for you then send me a message and I will
totally pray for you if I'm not already doing so.

Aight. peace out homies and home girls.

Corre

This came on my radio on the way to work.

2009-04-09T07:49:00.001-07:00

All my life,
I tried so hard,
but I was afraid to walk alone,
Midnight came when we were kids,
You were afraid so I walked with you,
Singing songs till the night was almost gone,
Holding hands,
Only letting go when you were nearly home.

Side by side,
We face the sun,
The anchor of all men in love,
You will be the only one,
When everything is said and done,
In the morning I'll be gone.

Life is what it makes of you,
So don't be afraid to walk alone,
Baby scream when they are bored,
So I'm not afraid of passing on,
Sing me songs,
For my time has almost come,
Hold me close,
And I'll let you know when I am nearly home,

Side by side,
We face the sun,
The anchor of all men in love,
You will be the only one,
When everything is said and done,
In the morning I'll be gone

The New frontiers - Passing on

I love it.

If I grew my beard out like this...

2009-04-09T07:31:00.000-07:00

Would you guys still talk to me again?

I kinda like it... Well not the emo picture,
but the beard.

Hahahahahahahaha

2009-03-15T00:57:00.000-07:00

So there you have them...

Not really written about anyone...
well maybe the last one... but who cares right?

If things could be easier you think I would be
happier? Probably not. I would still be in a
funk. No end to the loneliness around the corner.
I leave you with this.

I can give my heart to everyone I see,
but how many pieces could I get in return?

Thats how I freaking feel sometimes.

P.S. I know what your thinking... well some of you anyways...
I know God is here for me. I pray to him before I fall asleep at
night. I ask him to fill the void and repair my heart. Sometimes the
scent, touch/embrace, and love of another is what I feel like I'm missing.

If I could freeze my heart I would.
Turn into a Zombie I would.
Be a robot? Hell yeah!
I can't do or be any of those things.

2009-03-15T00:56:00.000-07:00

I smelled her hair, a mixture of smoke,
hairspray and fresh shampoo. It brought up
feelings of warmth and it felt just right.
Like a day filled with dark clouds and
a light sprinkling of rain. I held her closer
to me just in case I woke up to find her
not really here at all. Just a dream inside
a dream. But it turned out to be real and
she felt so right in my arms. So right.
She asked me what I wanted?
I whispered to her nothing and everything.

Nothing and everything

2009-03-15T00:54:00.000-07:00

Why do I second guess the things that
you say? I just told me the truth and
I twisted it into something else.
Something more sinister.
Something more hazardous.
Something so gawdawful it hurts
every fiber of my being.
Crush my heart.

2009-03-15T00:51:00.000-07:00

Last night as you left my house I stood
out on the sidewalk and listened. It was
1230 am. No cars in sight. Just the street
lights, rustling of leaves, the moon, and me...
the sound of a train was the only thing I could
hear in the distance.

It was peaceful and all I could think of was am
I doing the right thing? Is this the way things
should be? I'm happy where I'm at, but why
do I ask these questions?

There's a reason that your in my life. There's a
reason we care for each other. So why the
stupid questions? Why the uncertainty? Its the
way of human nature. Its my flaws shining
through my plate of armor. Flaws that cannot
break me or break us. I will stand strong as long
as God's by my side. He is on our side.
Good or bad. He's always got my back.

2009-03-15T00:50:00.000-07:00

I walked down the street far away from the house
that brought chaos and heartbreak in the short
amount of time we lived there. I can still smell
you there. Your smell is in the couches, blankets,
and even my very own clothes. I can't get away
from you unless I burn the house down.
I walk away from the house... naked

Yeah hey long time no blog

2009-03-15T00:37:00.000-07:00

Hey there stranger. How have you been?
Good? cool man.

I talk to myself quite a bit. Its cool though cause I never get into arguments
with myself. I am ALWAYS right. Will always be right. And that will never change.

I have a shit load of stuff that I've written in the past MIA days. They will be
posted soon after this has been posted.

Sorry for the language above. I just don't care right now to change it.

ARRRRGGGHHHH

2009-01-25T23:54:00.000-08:00

Its nights like these when my feet are cold, my body is all sore and my bed is cold that I realize I'm left here all alone.

On a happier note.... Electric blanket is on and its calling me to bed. See you in the morning sunshine...

Just a few words

2009-01-19T19:22:00.000-08:00

Just a few words that I written down for the hell of it. Have fun.

Red Model

She passed by me on the road.
Her red little car was a flash as she drove by.
I can't recall the make or the model, but I
remember her face. It was just a small glimpse
as she passed right on by, but at that moment
I knew I had to try. Think, think, think. Is there
any way I could get her to notice me. I could
stand out on my lawn everyday hoping she would
realize that I was there. I would get up the nerve
to wave to her if she looked my way. Just a glimpse
is all I would need to kick start the girl in her red
car of unknown make and model.

Silly Thoughts

I thought about the first time that you punched
me in the arm for saying you had a crooked smile.
I remembered our first night how everything felt right as
I reached out and grabbed your hand and looked over at
your perfect smile. I thought about the doubt that left
me that last night as nightmares became a part of reality.
I sit here wondering if time could stand still or will
I always be that person you held so high above everything
else or will it all fade away in time. I don't know where this
is going but I wish to hell the feelings would leave and
I would be bigger than the empty shell of a man who
once knew what love was and what it means to love
another back. To be a kid again and not think silly
thoughts or think about the actions of another stupid adult.

Story of my freakin life...

2009-01-06T18:36:00.000-08:00

Boy meets girl, girl teases boy,
boy looks for something to destroy.
He's into her, she's onto him,
and that's the way it's always been.
She'll be with you if you want her to,
unless she finds out that you do.
Then somehow she won't want to be,
it turns around so suddenly.

And I'm like yeah, but she's all no,
and I'm all come on baby, let's go,
and she's like I don't think so,
and I'm going...

The search for love and happiness turns
out to be a game of chess.
You can't move or you flip the board,
and you're lying in pieces on the floor.

I'm like um, and she's all hey, and I'm all
come on baby, let's play, and she's like that's
okay, and I'm going...

Every day I just want to say I love her madly,
but I do it so badly, that when I do, I can't get through.
If she even listens, she's way off in the distance.
Success in these relationships rests more or less on
gamesmanship, and these are ships that I can't
board, or keep in order or afford.

I'm like yeah, but she's like no,
and I'm all come on baby, lets go,
and she's like I don't think so,
and I'm going.
I'm going. I'm going.

Heard this on shuffle as I left work tonight. It really is the story of my life... And well almost every guys life I guess.

Thank you Mr. T. Experience... Thank you

On the way home

2008-11-29T11:25:00.000-08:00

I received a new Tattoo Monday night. It matches the other one on my right arm.

For those of you that don't know. I spent two days in Nevada visiting family. There isn't really any good stories to tell you all. We pretty much sit around all day and watch tv. But I took some pictures with my new phone on the drive back And heres what they look like.

A note for you

2008-11-17T14:24:00.001-08:00

It was no coincidence that we meet
each other that night. We were both
drenched from walking through the
rain without umbrellas.

As I ran for the overhang to get the
rain out of my eyes and to catch my
bearings. I looked over and believed
that you fell head over heels for me
as you got closer to me or maybe its
cause you slipped and fell down.

I picked you up and brushed as much
as I could of the mud and water from
your already heavy drenched clothes.

Our eyes met and we both gave awkward
smiles to each other. You picked up your
bags and walked away...

That was the last time I saw an angel fall
and disappear. I think of all the things I
could have said to keep her there. If its
meant to be then I'll see her again.

-Corre

Rain, Rain come again!

2008-11-01T22:18:00.000-07:00

Tonight was the first time we rode our bikes and got rained on!

I loved it!

Its 1am and I couldn't sleep

2008-10-27T00:55:00.001-07:00

I laid awake staring at the ceiling.
When I pray I raise my arms to you.
I wanna be closer. I want to be nearer.
I stay awake as long as I can.
I let out everything I'm thinking.
Make me whole. Give me peace.
Show me my errors so I can fix them.
Erase my past. Let me be fixed on the
future. I want to adore you.
I'll forever sing your praise.
When I'm lonely you'll be right here
next to me. Comfort. Warm. You'll never
leave my side. I am in Love with you.
You will forever love me.
Through and through.
Till the day I wake up next to you.

This might not mean squat to you. But
this was written @ 1am in the morning.
I wake up in 5 hours. I love God for
All he's done for me.

All I wanna do is...

2008-10-26T00:54:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting @ Katy's place with Sara
in between us. Katy is writing a blog
as I type this on my phone. Sara was
eating some smelly chips.

I went to a club Friday for Kelsey's 21st
bday. It was different. I sat on the
sidelines for pretty much the whole time
watching the girls dance and run away
from the occasional guy drifting over to
dance with whoever would show interest
in them. I danced for like 3 minutes. That's all.

I didn't do anything till around 5pm tonight.
Nicole, Katy, Mark, Jessica and I went to wing
stop for some din din. After that Nikki, Kate
and I went to victoria gardens for some
shopping that didn't work out well for anyone.

Received an email from my real mother. I will post my thoughts on that
later.

Anyways its been real. Stay Gold Pony boy.

Corre

Conversation with twotonenicole

2008-10-23T07:49:00.001-07:00

Nicole Guthrey: Oh my gosh.!
hardxcorre: Hmm?
Nicole Guthrey: Change your status
Nicole Guthrey: NOW!
hardxcorre: Haha no way!
Nicole Guthrey: You just made me think of you naked!
Nicole Guthrey: Corre
hardxcorre: Haha
hardxcorre: Awesome!
Nicole Guthrey: CHANGE IT
hardxcorre: Haha I don't want to now
-------------------------------- 8:28 pm
--------------------------------
Nicole Guthrey: Dude
Nicole Guthrey: You're gonna make everyone think of you naked!
hardxcorre: That's ok. Naughty people
Nicole Guthrey: Naughty YOu
Nicole Guthrey: You wrote that
hardxcorre: Haha
Nicole Guthrey: And it says fun fact I hate seeing myself naked
Nicole Guthrey: What image do you get in your head
Nicole Guthrey: And then
Nicole Guthrey: You bring your weiner into it
hardxcorre: Should I just say Fact?
Nicole Guthrey: CORRE
Nicole Guthrey: CHANGE IT!
Nicole Guthrey: Oh my gosh!
Nicole Guthrey: I hate you
Nicole Guthrey: Dang you corre
Nicole Guthrey: Btw I misspelled wiener
Nicole Guthrey: Twice
Nicole Guthrey: See...you screwed up my brain
Nicole Guthrey: Gotta shower and flat iron my hair for my hair cut
tomorrow! :) yay! Be back in a bit
hardxcorre: K
-------------------------------- 9:18 pm
--------------------------------
Nicole Guthrey: Alright
Nicole Guthrey: I'm back
------------------------------- 10:01 pm
-------------------------------
hardxcorre: Sorry
------------------------------- 10:03 pm
-------------------------------
hardxcorre: Im here
------------------------------- 10:05 pm
-------------------------------
Nicole Guthrey: Its cool
Nicole Guthrey: Stupid status popped up again
hardxcorre: Haha
hardxcorre: I love it
Nicole Guthrey: Hate you
hardxcorre: No
Nicole Guthrey: Alright...I don't :)
hardxcorre: See
Nicole Guthrey: Hah

This was all over my status on AIM.

Fun fact: I hate seeing myself naked. Have you ever seen a weiner? G to
the R to the O to the double S

Sorry Nikki but I was having a big laugh at this last night.
-Corre

Conversation with David Brown

2008-10-19T18:31:00.001-07:00

This is why God put awesome people in my life.

David Brown: Meh, dont let it get to ya. Leave your heart in God's
hands. If its God's will, you have nothing to worry about...If it's not
God's will...you can't argue with God...
David Brown: God punches hard.
David Brown: and it's usually in the balls
hardxcorre: Thanks dude
hardxcorre: I needed that

I need that good hard punch in the balls God. Please do it when I'm not
looking.
-Corre

So i kinda hope...

2008-10-19T17:50:00.000-07:00

you guys weren't hanging out with me cause of my hair.

Sweet action

2008-10-17T23:08:00.001-07:00

I spent sometime on my own tonight. It seems like its been a long time coming. I slept for 2 hours after work, rode my bike to chipotle. Had an amazing bite. Rode to crossroads. Rode to Starbucks where I enjoyed a venti green tea. Saw kels and Eve. Rode home. Had an amazing talk with the Big Man. And now I get to sit and cool off outside under the moon.

God amazes me more and more everyday. I'm praying that I get to experience his hand everyday for the rest of my life.

Thank you for my bike, legs in which to ride said bike, friends who care that I have time off, hanging out, sleep, time with you.

Stay Gold Pony Boy.

Want to get away...

2008-10-17T14:17:00.001-07:00

I've got this feeling of just getting out
tonight and riding for a long while. I
don't even know where to begin or end.
Any where would be great.

I even think a bike ride to the beach would be just what I need.

Solo. By myself. Alone. With no distractions.

I want to see where the wind and God will take me.

Some place far if I'm really lucky.

This is the view from my eyes

2008-10-12T13:17:00.000-07:00

Seeing this and knowing
all the things that God has in
store for me.

I still sit here and wonder about mundane
things in my life that I can't just leave
up to him. All the possibilities that are
out there if I just ask and let him tell me what's up.

Its cool and breezy and the ocean is beautiful
yet scary.
-Corre

I bought the boys donuts today!

2008-10-09T07:41:00.000-07:00

Sorry guys. I thought this would be funny to twitter and get their hopes
up.

Life couldn't be better...

2008-10-08T23:27:00.000-07:00

I had the chance to see Katy in Burbank on Tuesday night. It was quite a drive, but well worth it if you ask me. We hung out and had some dinner (which I didn't finish all the way), had some yogurt and went back to her hotel and watched some boring tv, until we started talking about everything. From some crazy copying game where I was the ultimate loser I left and got ready for my hour drive home. But with my window rolled all the way down and my stereo on shuffle I happened to make it home.

I woke up in the morning and it felt like my throat was a little closed up. I'm blaming it on the ride there and back from all the singing. Also worship tonight didn't help it any. I must have downed two raspberry ice teas from dennys in like five seconds.

I had a really slow bike ride tonight thanks to Kelsey and Cami. Too slow if you ask me. I might have to take the lead the next time they come along with me... or leave them eating my dust. I saw Tony drive past us and flash his hazards. I also received this right outside my door.

I think it had something to do with me getting a new crusier wheel and placing it on my bike and then coming down my hill and slaming on the brakes as hard as I can to "see" what would happen. All I got was the battle scar and the sweet smell of burnt rubber. I also almost hit the back of my truck... Freaking sweet dude.

Oh did I mention that upon slamming on the pedals and almost hitting my truck I dropped the S bomb? Yeah it went like this OOOHHHHHH SHHHHHIIIIIIIIZZZZZ. but with Ts at the end and not Zs. Oh and I was laughing from the moment I got up to the moment Dom and his girlfriend walked out the front door looking around wondering why it smelled like burnt rubber.

I'm having a blast.

I'm gonna end with this...

Katy Miller is pretty awesome for a chick. Ha.

Night night interweb world and all you kiddies out there.

Corre

Hot hot hot

2008-10-07T13:37:00.000-07:00

It was so hot outside when I went to lunch
that I had to put on the first glove that I
could find in my car... thank you glove
for keeping third degree burns off my hands.

Your awesome and pink.

The two last girls in my life are gone...

2008-10-01T23:28:00.000-07:00

I teared up when I got into my house tonight cause I knew that tonight will be the last time I see the last remaining girl in my old life...

Baci

Yeah I really did/do love her but how would you feel loving something or someone who never loved you back. It was like I'm just here as a person who gives food and shelter. I feel bad. Don't think for a second that I feel bad, cause man I do.

So all in all, sadly enough the last chapter in my life with the last girl of old is closed. I hope someone adopts her and puts her in a place where she loves and gives them more affection than she ever gave me...

Its so hard to say goodbye...

Corre

Woke up to this

2008-09-25T07:13:00.000-07:00

I love my roommate...

I'm in love!

2008-09-21T16:05:00.000-07:00

And I want her so badly...

Who wants to take a road trip to another state and pick one up with me?

EMO

2008-09-16T07:11:00.000-07:00

I'm tired of thinking about the right things to say and the right things to do.
I'm tired of thinking of you. I need a break my mind is numb.
I'm forever in this slump. I forgot where I was when I met you and now I know that no matter what I do I will never live my life with you.

I'm sad to say that this is really over...

Goodbye.
There might be some tears, but I will discard them once the night is through.

(I'm not really being emotional right now, this was written a month or so ago. Girls... geez they really are jerks)

Rocket Summer / Phantom Planet 9/11/08

2008-09-12T00:14:00.000-07:00

Just got back a show with Jason (Gayson). The people who played at the show were

The Morning Light - Caught their last song, which didn't give me enough time to see if I liked them or not.

My Secret Handshake - Awful music, just awful. The guys voice was auto tuned and we had to get a beer to calm our nerves...

Phantom Planet - Freaking awesome man. They played a lot of good songs, they were funny, and in between a song they played a Phantom of the Opera song... freakin sweet. They ended with that California song from the OC tv show that is thankfully OVER.

The Rocket Summer - Amazing every time I see them. Bryce has so much energy and seems like he is genuinely having a hell of a good time.

There are a couple shows coming up that I am going to see.

Rancid / MxPx Oct. 5th
HelloGoodBye Nov 26th

Bands that I want to see play really bad.

Ozma
The Format
Ben Folds
Copeland
Flogging Molly
Sleeping Giant
Limbeck
Weezer
The Hives
RedLetterEd
John G
Means to an End
The Get up Kids
Shwayze
Underoath
Tegan & Sara

Ok ok... I know some of those bands are not together any more to see, but a boy can dream can't he?

Good night fellow bloggers and or weird people reading random blogs.

Peace and all that good stuff.

Corre

They call me bro-seph...

2008-09-11T14:08:00.000-07:00

When I go to work I sometimes think of myself as a bro... I wish I could wear regular clothes to work.

UGH!

2008-09-08T19:19:00.000-07:00

Theres no ugh really... just didn't know what to put as the subject. I finally rode my bike to and from work today. I kinda sucked. I had the wind against me on the way home which made me work harder. I probably won't be riding any more this week until I fix some minor things on the bike.

I'm going to put on a cruiser hub though, just so I can actually use a cruiser brake instead of the hand brakes. Dustin has it on his bike, so I'm stealing his idea.

Today I started a diet that I've been meaning to start since I've been eighteen... I hope with exercise and eating better my gut will disappear over some time. I weight about 185 lbs and I'd love to lose 30ish lbs. We will see.

Keep me accountable peeps I really need it.

Ok Peace and all that

Corre

In the morning...

2008-08-28T15:01:00.001-07:00

I found this in our backyard. I know cute huh? When I came home from work it was still in the same spot. It couldn't run away cause I think two of its legs were hurt so it just runs in circles. I didn't know what to do whit it so I put it in a dust pan... and threw it away.

I don't know if I can kill it on my own. Trever once said that that he would kill them by filling up a bag of water and letting them drown, but I feel like that would be the most horrible way to go. So he can stay in the trash away from this monster.

She doesn't know it yet but I'm dropping her off at an animal shelter hopefully really soon...

Bye Bye mousy and cat...

My heads spinning...

2008-08-28T00:45:00.000-07:00

I remember when I was first going through my divorce and I pretended that nothing was wrong for the longest time. One night while sitting at a regular church service on a regular Sunday someone started playing a worship song that I had heard a million times.

Except this time God poured onto me that I wasn't alone he was always with me and would provide others to help me through whatever I was going through.

At that very moment I started to cry. I mean it all came out. I couldn't stop. I sobbed so bad that I sat down. After a few minutes a very good friend of mine at the time placed a hand on my head. It was like they were saying that

Everything was ok.
Everything was gonna get better.
There was comfort.
There was hope.

I cried harder and ducked out from service. Only to return from a broken man to a stronger man.

I guess the whole point of the story is that I am surrounded by friends still, but I don't feel them around. I don't have the feeling that everything will be fine. I hide away from people now. I miss what I had with all of them... I get attached to easily. I care too much. And I love. I want love so badly to love again...

I don't know what this all means. I just needed to get it out there and in the open.

Don't be scared.
Say a little prayer for me.
Keep on trucking.
Love all around you.
Don't miss the moments.
Cry when you can, out in the open, in front of strangers.
Praise God...

I changed my hairs...

2008-08-26T17:20:00.000-07:00

To this mighty color...

I love you....

2008-08-25T13:32:00.000-07:00

Always and forever...

New Tees

2008-08-21T23:01:00.000-07:00

Two newest ones...

I'd love me some dark chocolate right about now...

2008-08-14T07:46:00.000-07:00

Sent from the kick that matters most... Corre's!

Ho hum...

2008-08-08T06:08:00.001-07:00

6am and we are sitting at a pancake house
waiting for Michael to come have his last
breakfast with us for awhile. We are going
to miss that Japo.

I kissed a girl...

2008-08-02T02:48:00.000-07:00

I didn't really kiss anyone...
but I did change my hair.
This is just the begining stage.
I'm not to sure what color to actually do.
I like red. But who knows for sure
what I will end up doing.

Maybe I will keep it the way it is.

Peace out.

Corre

I can't stop this burning... in my freakin thighs...

2008-07-29T00:20:00.000-07:00

Yeah my thighs are killing me. I've been cycling a lot now. Some places kill me still, but I'm getting better. Especially if I push myself. If only I can get up and exercise in the morning. I have the getting up at 6:45am thing going, but I can't get motivated enough to do anything else.

So what can I do? What is my motivation?

I really don't know to tell you the truth. Impressing girls with a fit upper body? No not for me anyways. I think a girl will like me regardless of my body. (well hopefully that and a lot of other things)

So for those of you who don't see me much. Here is a picture of what I look like.

Before

After

Excuse the shirtless picture. Divert your eyes only to the naked portion above the neck.

Yeah I'm a little boy again.

Cheerio...

Corre

Woot Shirts

2008-07-24T22:52:00.001-07:00

I think I'm gonna start posting all the Woot Shirts that I buy on my blog. Just to kind of show you guys what horrible stuff that I like.

Heres one from tonight.

I wish there were zombies

2008-07-24T13:09:00.000-07:00

I would get all the walking dead ladies...

Oh monday...

2008-07-14T13:44:00.000-07:00

So what worse than coming into work on a Monday?
Ugh... finding out that some fellow co-workers were caught at one time or another making out in the dark aisles of the Troy Lee Designs warehouse...
Yeah awesome huh? Someone told me that they had walked into it last year sometime and just kind of turned around and walked as fast as they could out the warehouse... Now I just picture them making out whenever I see one of them walking around. I will never forget it.

In other news:
We rode to the beach from Corona to Huntington beach. Its something like 32 miles from what I heard. It took us 4 hours. Mostly cause we had to wait behind the slower people who went. But it was a fun time shared by all.

Ok peace and love and all that jazz.

Corre

SO I WANT THIS!

2008-07-07T23:21:00.000-07:00

Yeah I want that!

What do you think?

Corre

Sleep doesn't live here no more...

2008-07-02T07:44:00.000-07:00

You ever just lay down at night when your ready to sleep and just lay there restless and unable to sleep? You look at the clock because your sure that its been an hour since you first laid down and it only says that you've been there for 10 mins...

Thats how my night was last night.

But the good thing about sleeping and waking up is that there is a new song in my head every morning.

Todays was Weezers Pork and Beans. I might write out a blog for what songs I've woken up to for a month if I can remember to write them down.

Ok question...

4th of July is coming up. We celebrate it still. Which is good. But do you think that there was ever a time when the British people ever celebrate how much they hated us for the day?

Peace and love.

Corre

And If you don't know....

2008-06-30T23:32:00.001-07:00

Now you Freakin know...

Kick Ball picture at its finest... Haha.

Peace and Love and all that Jazz

Corre

HaHa

2008-06-25T23:17:00.000-07:00

Its funny how much you start to realize things when your driving home at night listening to Valeri Lopez.

My dream girl has changed in my head these last couple of months. Here is a rough list of what I want.

1) Loves God
2) Sings really well
3) Plays Guitar
4) Uses the skills from 2 and 3 to write intimate songs for me and then sings them to me
5) Loves almost all the same music as me
6) Always, always hugs and is constantly ready to cuddle
7) Never a little scared to show small public displays of affection

I think that this list can grow to be however long I need it to be. Theres way more, but for now I will keep them tight lipped and in a safe place for now.

Take everything you want or could ever need
and leave me standing here on bended knee.
Its complete crap that I chose not to see.
All the plans you made of leaving me.
Im a broken shell of a man that's hearts been dropped.
I'll pick up the broken pieces and get a head start.

I can't take a step back from rhyming for some reason. When I re-read it I want to be able to take a step out of my body and kick myself straight in the ..... butt.

Shalom and I hope your here when I get back.

Corre

Loco pelo

2008-06-23T12:29:00.000-07:00

My work attire. Plus 80's feathered hair. I hate washing my hair...

Dreams...

2008-06-22T18:27:00.001-07:00

Are really weird...

Last night I remember having a lot of them by I only really remember one.

It was about Mark and it wasn't very good. The reason I think I had it though was because Mark's bloody alarm kept going off like 4 times this morning and waking me up every time.

I wrote this s Mark sees it and turns off THE ALARM!

In other news...

Our first kickball game was today! We tied 5 to 5. We should have won. We even had an instant replay but got thrown out because it was "unofficial" haha.

Whatever though. The HOTPANTS Rule you! I will post the schedule for the next 5 weeks.

Peace, Shalom, Love and all that jazz.

Corre

zzzzzzzzz

2008-06-19T00:13:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting at my computer and its a little past midnight. I just got done looking at bike frames. I have to admit that I'm kind of getting into the fixie bike scene. I want to find one so i can ride with the dudes.

I'm might be gaining weight again cause I'm not really looking into eating better anymore. I need to start buying healthier stuff and eating less. Thats how I did it before and I need to get on it again. Oh yeah... and exercise I guess.

Church was good tonight. I need to keep on that. The series right now is about drinking, tattoos, and something else. Oh yeah parties... I'm trying to make myself not hate as many people as I do now. I think, naw, I know that if I start going to church and keep myself accountable than I will start liking the people who pissed me off, or just rub me the wrong way. Its actually really hard for me because I start to put up walls and stop caring about people.

Lastly. Its hard to love someone who would rather not love you back the same way.

So recap. i need you guys (You three who mostly are the only ones reading this) to just pray for me.

Bike
Health
Exercise
Church
People
Hate
and most of all LOVE. I need it and want it.

Shalom,

Corre

I want very badly...

2008-06-10T14:08:00.001-07:00

Thats me Circa 18 years old. That was the Rattlesnakes.

To be in a band again. I want to sing songs and perform for people. I'm not too old I think. And maybe it will get me started on another diet. Maybe I can look like I did when I was eighteen. 150 pounds of scrawny goodness. I can still dream. Maybe I'll get some words rolling and get some people to fill it in with some music.

Shalom.

Corre

Sitting...

2008-06-06T21:34:00.001-07:00

I am sitting here at the movies waiting for the zohan movie to start.
That's all. Kelsey thinks I'm talking about her right now.

She will never see this though.

Its been awhile though huh?

I've been thinking of getting out and getting that second job still but,
I'm being super lazy... I've been thinking of doing a retail job at any
random clothes store.

We will see...

Yeah well

2008-05-14T13:34:00.001-07:00

Almost everyday on my lunch I eat lunch and nap in my truck. Today as I lay down in the cab I realized that I could probably live out of my truck if worst came to worst. I know most people don't think this way, but as I think about different ways to make a little extra cash to pay off my bills faster the thoughts start taking different approaches to fix certain solutions. Lets look at the stuff I pay for in having a home to go to.

Rent
Utilites

Hmmm. Thought the list would be much larger haha. But not paying rent and utilites would give me some extra cash to pay off the bills faster.

I hope that in a couple months I can look back at this and laugh at myself for even thinking of these thoughts. I might even have to write down all the weird ones...

Shalom
Corre

5 o'clock please hurry up!

2008-05-09T15:01:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting at work pretty much ready to go home. It has been dead here all day...

Tonight is Chris's bachelor party in SD. I guess we are going to a club tonight, which doesn't excite me at all. I'm gonna take pictures to keep me entertained. I will post them tomorrow or the next day.

One thing thats awesome to me... I bought a moped from a guy at work.

Its a 1978 Motobecane. Its pretty dang sweet. I can't wait to ride it everywhere. Including the beach. I miss my scooter so this should keep my spirits up for awhile. I think I already love it and I don't even know its name. I will post pictures soon.

I miss friends.

Shalom.

Corre

Been there done that...

2008-04-28T20:06:00.000-07:00

Nope...

I don't know. I've been away from this for awhile now. Lets see...

I had my wisdom teeth removed... I am now dumber than I was before.

I just got finished watching the second season of Heroes... So freaking good.

I think Summer started way too early... Ugh

and um I don't know...

I've been getting this sudden sensation to go and get away from everything lately. I want to go away for a month and get my heading corrected. Some where far and where I have no control over anything else that happens. Like another country. It would be wild to go to another somewhere where no body knows who I am, or what I'm saying... Haha... I know stupid huh?

Well everyone keeps posting about how they are gonna miss the showcase theatre... but lets get real people... It sucked there. They stopped showing good shows a long time ago. For the people who don't like gutter punk, metal, or hardcore lets rise up and show our brothers and sisters that there is more music out there! Viva la revolution!

ok I'm going to go eat my crappy budget tv dinner now. Yay for no good food @ home!

Shalom my peoples.

Corre

Thursday Night

2008-04-17T23:36:00.000-07:00

Some of us went out to Mark's birfday party tonight @ Don Jose. It was a good night. Lots of laughing. Lots of friends. And a few drinks. I remember that there are a couple of friends that I love so much. And even friends that I have become to love more and more even though I've know them for forever.

Oh and I have a new love for Corona (beer) it is really good.

Oh and things that I can't have in my life make me very sad. I can't wait till things really start looking better for me. I know that I have to give it all to God. Its hard. I feel like I have tried to, but I just can't let certain things go. I miss people. I miss parts of my life that made sense. Its all a learning experience now.

I might be on the verge of being a little drunk. So I will be talking to you later.

Shalom, love you all.

Corre

Tattoo idea smashed...

2008-04-16T15:37:00.001-07:00

So I was thinking about getting a tiny heart tattooed onto my wrist, but
it turns out that Candice has one already... WTF. I totally thought I
was gonna be original and get something that none of my friends have.
After she told me she had one she sent me a picture of it.

I was bummed...

Oh noes!

2008-04-15T15:33:00.000-07:00

I went to the dentist today. Yeah I know sucky right? But it wasn't all
that bad really. The dentist I went to is the same one a girl from work
goes to. The guy was really nice which means I will be going again!

Going again meaning that I have to. I guess my wisdom teeth have been
giving me weird headaches lately. So that should be fun. If any one
has advice on what I should do either before or after the surgury than
that would be awesome.

As for the rest of my life. Please pray that I stay on the right track
with my life. I've been making bad choices lately and it needs to
stop. And if you need anything and would like me to pray than please
hit me up. I want to get better at prayer for others around me.

Shalom

Corre

Its so hard to say goodbye...

2008-04-08T20:00:00.000-07:00

I might be rolling in a newish truck tomorrow. Yep trading in the jeep
for a ford ranger. It will be helping me pay off debts.

She might not be the prettiest, but her smile is beautiful...

I will love you forever. Always and forever...

Haha

2008-04-07T13:40:00.000-07:00

I don't know why I thought this was so funny. But it looks like this guy
is getting ready to take a dump while he's holding that giant box...

Recently...

2008-04-03T10:59:00.000-07:00

Well I've been thinking about getting a 2nd job... ugh.... yeah I've
been in the poor house for far to long and I'd really like to get out of
it.

You might be asking "where do you think you'll go?" well I've been
thinking target... sigh yes. That's the only place I can think of that
would let me keep my hair and beard just the way they are. Gross and
long.

If you know anywhere else that would take a homely degenerate like me
than by all means let me know...

I'm trying to work out some stuff right now to get my bills paid off and
out of my stressful head. I even thought about selling my dvds to
friends and any other people who would take them. Like 5 to 10 bucks...
how's that sound?

Well pray for me and my finances.

Shalom.

Corre

just a quick one...

2008-03-29T10:41:00.000-07:00

Last night facedown fest those boys from Plea, Sleeping Giant, and Impending doom really are amazing as people and as musicians. Keep doing what you do and Worship him always dudes.

Shalom

Corre

Easter weekend

2008-03-21T18:31:00.000-07:00

I've been through bad and good situations throughout my life. Things that I was ashamed of and things that I was so happy to be a part of. God has really been good to me. I can't complain. I have friends who I would die for and hope would die for me. haha. Family that loves me (even if its hard for us to say it to each other) , job (sometimes its awesome) , and a place to lay my head by the end of the night. God is awesome. And this weekend I totally encourage you to take some time and thank him for what he's done and what he did for you.

Shalom.

Corre

03/20/1980

2008-03-21T18:17:00.000-07:00

So yesterday (3/20/2008) I went to disneyland with Sara, Heather, and Grayson. It was pretty much a bust...

Just playing... it was great. It really was. I had a lot of fun. I totally fell for the "why didn't you tell us it was your birthday?" line from sara and heather.

We didn't go on many rides, but what we went on was fun. We all bought season passes and hoe to go more times throughout the year. Go get one so you can hang with us.

Thanks to all my friends who showed up and surprised me @ the restaurant. And paying for the pass. You guys are all awesome.

Love you lots.

Corre

Just a little something off the top...

2008-03-17T22:51:00.000-07:00

You don't like what you hear, You don't like what I say.
And if I could do it, Id get out of your way.
But life is boring, I don't think I can stay...
Kiss me this last time, I'll be on my way...

And...

If I ask would you tell me what you think about me.
All the things that come right to your head.
Even if its hurtful or not. I think I can take it.
I've taken so much what's a little more pain and suffering.
If its something I can change I would change it for you. I would try.

Just a couple things I've written in the last couple of days. Sorry if they
seem a little depressing. I'm not if you like to know. I just only
have depressing words. Ha. Stupid

Corre

Haha

2008-03-13T07:52:00.001-07:00

Quick note: I saw some free rollerblades on the street this morning. I
almost stopped to see what size they were... haha.

I finished my book last night before bed. It was excellent. I think
that its actually the first book that I've read that I've actually
laughed out loud.

Um is it bad that I can't wait for the weekend so I can sleep in? NO!
Haha...

I took next thursday and friday off and I'm hoping to get some peeps to
go to disneyland with me during the day on thursday... we will see
though.

Peace and all that shizz
Corre

What to say, What to say...

2008-03-11T07:08:00.000-07:00

See I knew that I'd forget about writing to this. Its been 6 days and nothing has happened to me that would even warrant myself to write here. Except that I got my first severe case of the gout(sp) (I don't have to know how to spell it to have it) that was pretty fun. Its things like that that make me want to just call up the rents and say "hey thanks for giving me gray hair an the gout".

My birthdays coming up for those who don't know. I'm not super excited to tell you the truth. Its one more year of me being one out of two people who are older than the rest of the group... But I actually think I might go out into hiding on and around the actual days... I already took off the day of and after my birthday so I can hightail it out of town and not be bothered for a couple days. At least Easter is some what close to it and it gives me a scapegoat....

Well I'll write more later. i wanted to let you guys know of a book that I've been reading. Its about 4 people who go to a famous place in london to end their lives... Stuff happens and they don't actually end their lives, but I've only read through the first half of it. I'll let you know what goes on though as I'm sure you'd really like to know.

Peace and all that Shizz.

Corre

Not much...

2008-03-05T12:58:00.001-08:00

Has been going on with me. I went and saw the diary of the dead movie.
It was really good. I love zombies. The acting was so so in the movie
but I think that it worked out that way because they were filming from
their own cameras and were just film students. Go see it seriously it
was great. Also no nudity WTF! Jk that was probably the best thing
they didn't put in there.

I'll write more later...

Peace and all that shizz.

Corre

Please excuse me...

2008-03-02T22:56:00.000-08:00

Hi,

My names Corre, and I've been a little moody lately.

That's a good way to start out a blog right? Sounds like I'm in a group session.

In all seriousness though I have been moody. I'm sorry to those of you that I have pushed it on.
I will try and list them out so you peeps get a little insight right now on my life.

Chapter one: this ones called long lost people...

I will need to explain this with a little back story so here goes (this is from another point of view. I don't know if its true, nor do I claim it to be so)

My mother left us when we were young. I can't say how old I was because I don't really remember it. But it seems that once she left we were not in her life anymore. I mean we received calls on our birthdays and Christmas with promises of gifts and such that would never make it to our house. Not such a big deal now that we are all grown up, but for kids to be left hanging like that is pretty bad.

Well I will fast forward to my graduation where she came out to see me graduate. That was pretty nice you know. I mean I know that she has never had much money, but that was cool. Except for the fact that she got my 16 year old brother high and I think drunk. Its not like I was back then how I am now, but come on... If you want to impress people don't go out like that.

After my graduation sometime my sister ended up talking to her on the phone and full on let her have it. I guess she started saying stuff about my dad and how he wasn't raising us right (which is funny because for most of our lives he made barely enough to keep a roof on all three of our heads and food on the table and she was like 3 states away from us) and my sister flipped out on her. I probably would have to. I mean the nerve of someone right? Well my sister said that our step mom was pretty much considered our mom. And that's I think think the last time any of us had talked to her in 10 years.

Recently though I got a message on MySpace from her saying that she has been looking for us for years. She found us. Or just me. I don't know what my brother or sister have said to her or if she has talked to them, but that's where I'm at. How do you let someone that hasn't been around your whole life be let back into your life. Sure I've forgiven her a bunch of times and I've know now that whatever shes done was in the past, but I can't just open up to her about my life and everything else in it right now.

I've been wanting to send her an email, but I don't know what to say really. I'm just praying about it right now and I hope that whoever else reads this also prays for me as well. I know there is a chance that she will read this and I will say I'm sorry if it makes you mad in any way. But these people are my friends and I consider them friends.

Chapter two: this ones called loneliness

You all know what I am going through right now. If you have no idea than you don't really know me. But just pray for me. Its a hard time in my life and sometimes I just want to drink and forget about it. That is a stupid thing to say, but that is really how I feel, and the worst part is that I hate every couple right now. I'm sorry but its not just you in particular... but I can't take seeing it. I hate the way I feel and I hate myself at times.

Well that is only two things that make me moody right now off the top of my head. I have more, but its late enough and I needs my sleep. God knows I need m beauty sleep.

Peace out and all that shizz.

Corre

Thank God its friday!

2008-02-29T13:24:00.000-08:00

Today is great! Free bagels and donuts, payday, free pizza, and the work
day is almost over. I think tonight we are going to go see semi-pro. I
hope its really good. We will see that. Oh and chipotle before hand...
today just got 10x better.

Ok so here's one of the movies from the "game"

STAR WARS

Luke Skywalker - Kirk
Han Solo - Cory
Chewbacca - Mark (sorry)
C-3PO - Adam
Boba Fett - Me
Lando - Jeph

There's no girls in the warehouse so we can't really make one for
Princess Leia.

I realize that some might be funny but I really need to post pictures of
what some people look like.

Ok peace and all that shizz.

Corre

Thursday night

2008-02-28T10:14:00.000-08:00

So tv night tonight... er movie night? I don't really know when the tv
shows are coming back on. I should really look into it. But we are
planning on watching The Darjeeling Limited tonight.

Not sure how many people will be showing up. Lately its been a toss up
for me to see if people will show up or not. Seems if I don't send a
txt out people will ask either way and still not show up.

I haven't really been wanting to hang out in big groups of people lately
so I'm ok with like 5 people showing up. I don't know. I guess we will
see how I feel when or if people even show. Haha. Either way I will be
watching the movie with or without others there.

Peace and all that shizz...

Corre

No women no cry?

2008-02-27T21:42:00.001-08:00

Three months have gone by.

My room is a mess, my sofa is stained with laughing, tears, and
conversations that should be happening right now.

I know we haven't talked in a bit and it really bums me out.

It seems like we are 500 miles apart and our friendship no longer is
what it was.

I miss you and you'll either ignore this or never acknowledge it.

I can write this now because I wanted to. Was this too emo? I don't
know but I really wanted to post it.

Goodnight from the denny's waiting room.

Peace and all that shizz...

Corre

Lets see now...

2008-02-27T12:28:00.001-08:00

So I kind of wanted to see where this could all go. For me to start something and never finish always happens.

So I wanted to try and do something everyday though that sounds fun. At work I started a little game where someone thinks of a movie and then we match up the warehouse workers with which character they are closely related to. Like Personalities, looks, and whatever else we can think of.

An example: Happy Days

The Fonz = Me (its cause of the way my hair was that day)
Al = Cory Clark
Arnold (asian) = Bob Miyako
Ralph = Adam
Potsie = Jeph
Richie = Kirk

We never thought of one for Mark because he isn't at work right now.

But thats the game. Some are fun and some are lame, but I'll post them whenever I can.

I need from whoever reads this though some movies that I can ask everyone when I'm at work. So feed me some movies and I'll post them.

So thats it for now.

Peace, love you and all that jazz...

Corre